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I'm not a very patient person and I've never claimed to be. As the mom of two boys however I've learned to bite my tongue until it bleeds and my nails have never been shorter. I TRY to hold my temper in front of my boys hoping to teach them to be slow to anger even though I am NOT. Aubrey is on numerous meds most are vitamins but he does take 1/2 mg of tenex in the morning and the other half at nite which makes a whole mg tablet in a days time. He takes this for his ADHD when he doesn't he bounces off the wall and can't sit still and you just can't get him to focus. For the last few months they have worked well. He has been doing well in school except for playtime where he becomes a bully. He pushes kids down, takes their toys, and it just plain mean. This has now spilled over into home life, he's being utterly destructive : breaking windows, throwing things, hanging clothes from fan blades, pulling mattresses off beds, beating up bubba, then stripping bubba naked!!! This is my life, and I'm worried. As far as developmentally he's ahead of most Kindergartners, it's just his behavior we're experiencing the troubles with. I have NO clue why this medicine has quit working and he is CONSTANTLY in trouble in school. I know it's gonna be the death of me but I was watching tv and saw this thing on IED it's a disorder where people just have a burst of anger and right after they feel bad. Now normally I wouldn't pay this much attention and think it was someone making an excuse but I was talking to Aubreys teacher and she was telling me she could recongnize that his meds aren't working and that when he does the bad things he doesn't mean to. Instantly he feels remorse, he knows its wrong he just can't stop himself from doing it.My question is should I mention IED to the Dr? Does this seem serious? Does anybody have any suggestions because my son is struggling and I don't know what to do.
I do believe in fairies I do I do I DO!! This is the first thing that always comes to my mind when somebody mentions Peter Pan. I can see people clapping trying to revive tinker bell whom I LOVE and I'm clapping right along with them. I don't really believe in fairies or ghost either for that matter. I NEVER watch horror movies because I don't like thinking about evil spirits and such it creeps me out. I don't like things that go bump in the night, I'm a BIG girl. Now my father in law SWEARS that when he was staying here that my mamaws ghost spoke to him and woke him up. I laughed it off because a he's been known to be a drunk and B I don't want to think about her spirit lingering around my house, sounds kind of like Amnityvile Horror. Anyway, he, Allen, and Heather firmly believe in ghost and things of the such and I laugh because it's too extreme.....or is it? Check this out, Allen has 2 uniforms he needs for work and when he got home last night BOTH were dirty, he mentioned that they needed to be washed and I told him I would do it in the morning. we both went to bed and went to sleep. He got up at 6 and got Aubrey ready and put him on the bus then came back to bed. When we got up this morning and were getting ready when he just stopped with the most confused look on his face, "where are my uniforms?" "I dunno, where'd u leave em at?" "I took them off RIGHT here and left them in the floor." "Are you SURE u didn't wash them this morning? I bet u did when you put Aubrey on the bus" "No, I got him something to eat and got him dressed then it was time to get on the bus." I was like OK, this is ridiculous clothes don't get up and walk off. Well we spent a few mins looking and you'll NEVER guess where they were. They were washed and in the washing machine. That's right neither of us washed them but yet here they were in the washer. Until today I didn't believe in ghost but now I do believe I do I do I do
Hey friends! Listen I need some help. (don't go there too easy :) ). Last nite Allen and I watched the movie Fireproof. It is a wonderful movie and if you haven't seen it yet I'd LOVE to let you borrow it. Anyway I felt convicted of the way I sometimes treat people,not necessarily Allen but sometimes my friends and even God. Anyway, after the movie was over I looked at Allen and he had been crying (which he NEVER does in a movie espically one where God is involved, mentioned, etc. He turned to me and apologized for how he has treated me for the last five years and for once, I believed him. I would like for some suggestions how I can further what God has started in his life. Bible studies, specific Bible translations that are better for men, etc. Thanks guys! Yours in Christ CHas
This is probably not the type of post you'll be expecting being the day before Valentine's Day but I just need to vent, discuss, process, you get the idea. Anyway, I never really went to church growing up. We went at Easter, Christmas, and even when we did go I felt like hypocrites. You'd have to meet my family to understand but basically I'm surprised lightning doesn't strike when some of us walk in the door. Anyway, I got saved around the age of 16 and went to church basically everytime the doors were open. Then I felt like I needed to change churches. Anyway back to the part that's giving me problems, I haven't been to church in over a month. I don't feel the need to go, can't bring myself to read the Bible, I have even subscribed to daily devotions via e-mail but don't read them. This bothers me because it's such a far cry from where I've been. I know I'm SUPPOSE to want to do these things but I just don't wanna. I've been searching for the answer to my problem, I figured it was because of depression, no that's not it because I find myself really happy most times. I thought it could be because Allen wouldn't go to church w/me, that couldn't be it because I've been going by myself. Then I figured it was because I didn't belong but after going to a conference w/some women from my church I felt connected more connected than I ever have. This was abosolutely driving me crazy, why can't I get up on Sunday's and carry my butt to church?My family has been going through some tough times from children being sick to desperately needing money to almost losing a job. I decided to ponder on these and see if they could be the source of my problem. I don't blame God for the sickness plague-n my boys and pray every night that he will help me be the best mom for my boys. I feel secure in that area. I felt BLESSED that we still have our job and our money situation is picking up but that's where the problem lies. See I was always taught that you could rely on your pastor and church members for help. I've even seen them doing good deeds for widows and such through out the communtily. However, I feel betrayed by my pastor, don't get me wrong I LOVE his wife and for the most part think he's an ok guy but he blabbed a piece of my business to a relative which in turn caused a tear in our relationship (mine and the relative). How do I get over this? Am I being a baby? The thing he blabbed was over money 10 bucks to be exact and he lent it to Allen who repaid him in like 2 days. I just can't believe that the preacher felt the need to tell my business. HELP! Please...I"m crushed and just can't seem to get back in church.
I realize I'm probably alone on this but I just don't get the importance of Valentine's Day. I understand it's a national day where we recongize the importance of love. I however, don't really want to celebrate my love with others. Let me try again, I don't want Allen to do some grand gesture because it's expected I want him to do it because he wants to. I know he loves me we woudn't be married if he didn't. I also love it when he surprises me and does sweet things for me. I don't however really care what he does for Valentine's Day. I know on facebook I said I was excited about getting diamonds for Vday. In reality, I was getting diamonds, not for v-day but because we never could afford them until now. To give Allen a break on racking his brain on what to get me I said the diamonds were for Valentines day. I just don't get why girls put sooo much thought into Valentines day. I know I'm weird. I'd much rather get flowers or gifts on April 9 or something like that. Am I alone on this????
I LOVE to watch Oprah, in case I haven't mentioned it before. I don't always get to watch her show but everynow and then I can bargain with the boys and get a little me time. If you've ever watch Oprah she frequently talks about Ah-Ha! moments. I find it funny cuz I don't ever have Ah-Ha! moments I ususally get it or I don't. Anyway, for the first time since I can remember after having 2 boys I was getting to take a nap! I was laying on my new comfy couch trying to ease my mind and a song (or a piece of it) kept playing in my head. It was a Rascal Flatts song and I think the title is Fly but the part I couldn't get to stop playing was " The good Lord gives us mountains so we can learn how to fly". Now I ususally have songs playing in my head but I've usually heard them w/in the day or so. I haven't heard that one in weeks. As I was laying there willing the song to SHUT UP! cuz I really wanted this nap I couldn't figure out why this particular song was playing in my head. It wasn't even one of my favorites. This bugs me, I can't stand it when this happens. Then for the first time I too had an Ah-HA! moment. I got it. God was speaking to this tired, weary, completely worn out mommy. I've often asked Him why it has to be so hard for me. I've tried explaining to him I'd LOVE an easy day or to. We found out Thursday that Austin's in for some of the same things Aubrey is and that zapped what ever energy I had left. This time however, I didn't question God I just took it as it came and was like well, at least I know what to expect. Low and behold, God finally told me why I have to climb this trecherously long and grueling mountain, so when it's over I can fly. Amazing how God comes to us even when we're not looking.
I've told y'all about my routine of getting Aub off the bus. The one where I wave like an idiot at the end of my driveway:). Anyway, I realized something was wrong w/ Ms.Penny the driver. At first I thought she just couldn't talk but then I realized she was in tears. Oh my Gosh! what could have moved this lady to tears. She told me that she was on Hwy 25 and in the left hand lane (from what I gathered) and had stopped to let a little kid off the bus. She had traffic backed up and completely stopped and she looked in her rear-view mirror to make sure everyone was stopped before she let the child exit. Well the little boy had just stepped off the bus and she noticed this truck weaving in and out of the stopped traffic and was flying down the road. When the truck got RIGHT up on the bus and realized she had to stop she went to the right side of the bus!!! That's where the little boy had JUST put his feet on the ground. She was MERE inches from hitting the child when her truck finally stopped!!!!!! Scared the poor bus driver to death. She couldn't leave the bus and the child WASN'T hurt but good ole Ms.Penny stepped on that bottom step and hung her head out the door and yelled at that lady that she should've know better and BETTER be glad she didn't hurt that poor child.Please remember the child and their family in your prayers along with Ms. Penny. They had a rough day today and it wasn't a good start to the weekend
Here lately I've been in and out of feeling not exactly depressed but I don't know...glum maybe. We're getting ready to carry Austin to the doctor tomorrow and I'm worried about what they will say. I'm kinda expecting them to say autism because he rocks in his bed and if not that then he beats his head on his bed. That worries me along with the fact he doesn't talk and it was well after he turned one that he walked. So I've got all this on my mind along with trying to keep up with the list of things the school constantly wants us to sell, buy or that they need for us to stock up the room. I'm a busy gal! Even with all this going on, I feel cheated. I can't explain it. I want to spend time with my kids but it's hard. Most of the time I'm trying to fix their issues or I'm on the phone with doctors or cleaning house. Special needs kids take up alot of time but somehow I manage to make it work. Lately I've been feeling like I'm missing something. Kinda like why me? Why do I have the kids that can't go to sleep, the ones that take tons of meds daily, and one who won't talk. As I was watching Oprah today I realized something. I'm blessed!!!! I was watching Jenny McCarty and Oprah talking about this lady who gave birth to a little girl and hrs later her body was ravaged by flesh eating bacteria. She lost her uterus, ovaries, gallbladder, both arms at the elbows and both legs at the knees.
She never lost her faith. She was in such high spirits even after all that happened to her and she NEVER once asked why me? I figured if anyone would have a reason to it would be her. I was listing intently and rocking Austin who again isn't feeling well. Then Jenny McCarty was talking about her son Evan and how she helped him with Autism and that he was considered recovered. She was also talking about her new book Mother Warriors. How when faced with adversity you can either cry "WHY ME??? Why does this always happen to me?"--oh man that's me...I don't wanna be that way-- or you can say " You know what? I'm gonna help my child. I'm going to follow all these mothers that are helping these children and trying thing after thing until you find something that works" AH HA!! THAT'S IT THAT'S WHO I WANT TO BE! But how? How do I do this? I"m weak and frail and then God showed me. Pay attention...those of you who have known Aubrey from birth know what a struggle I've had with him...how I have cried over him, Heather Walker will tell you I called her almost everyday asking for advice--loves ya girl! and I just couldn't help him. What God showed me was Aubrey he hollared for me about the time I was wondering what kinda mother I was for being in self pity and you know what Aubrey wanted to show mommy? He took Mega Blocks and made a BB Gun. (pics will arrive later) Thing is it actually looked or resembled a gun. He had a handle and a barrell I mean you could tell he put thought into this. I know it seems like rambling but I'm almost done. I fought for Aubrey, I saved my pity for myself and shared my grief with Heather. God has given me the best friend I could ever ask for. She may not have all the answers but she'll google them, or look them up in books whatever she has to do to help. God made me a warrior and he gives me angles that point me in the right direction to get my boys the help they need. I realized that I'm going to be ok as long as I stick with God and look for His guidance. He'll heal all.
IT NEVER CEASES TO AMAZE ME! God always provides for His own. (And to think it took me watching Oprah LOL)
I have to tell this. Tonite was one of those nights where nobody wanted to eat what was in the house so Allen went to Subway to get him a sandwich. I asked him to go by Sonic to get me some ice cream b/c I had already eaten and so had the boys. Aubrey was the only boy up so he rode with his daddy. He had 2 bowls of spaghetti and meatballs for supper so he was just going along for the ride. They went to Subway first and got 2 ft long meatball subs and of course Aubrey wanted one and Allen said he'd share when they got home. So they pulled up at Sonic and Allen hit the button and in the back seat Aubrey was naming off all the things he's ever gotten at Sonic as what he wanted tonight. Well the man answered and Allen ordered my butterfinger blast and from the back seat came the loudest sound ever heard "I WANT A HAMBURGER!!!!" It was soo loud that the man taking the order actually heard him! Allen was so embarassed that he went ahead and let him order the hamburger. :) I'm glad that it was dad and not me.
As I have stated before I'm not very good with all this changing technology. Don't get me wrong I can text, picture message, I've recently learned to blog, I can email, and work a DVR. Which brings me to the point of this post. I like having satellite and being able to watch pretty much anything I want to. We have Dish Network and for the most part are satisfied. Every now and then however, we run into normal problems and have to call customer service....which is where the problems ultimately get worse. I think a bunch of trained monkeys could do a better job. Actually I'm SURE of it. We tried to order a pay per view movie the other day and were told by customer service to order online. ( I find that ironic cuz they are suppose to help the customer) well we missed that movie trying to register because apparently a year or so ago one of us already registerd online and we can't re-register. Well Allen calls trying to get the acct number because my filing system just isn't what it should be :). They asked him everything but what his blood type was. O negative in case you're wondering. Anyway we decided if we could somehow get into the part to change ur password we'd change the whole thing--login ID etc. Anyway you can only change ur password. Which WASN'T HELPING. Being the helpful hubby he is he decided to call customer service to enlist their help--seeing as how it's their fault I missed my movie in the first place. He gets a foreign person with such a heavy accent he just gives up. So I try calling and I get an American...ok this is going to go well. WRONG. Oh how wrong can Chas be today??? First question she asks is if I've tried changing the password. I'm thinking 'No princess thank God you're here' I explain to her yet AGAIN that it's not doing me any good because I can't remember the login ID. She says she'll have to get my name, number, acct number, email addy....and by this time I'm getting mad all I wanted to do was order a stupid movie!!!!!! Then she'll have to submit--I lost it "Can you PLEASE send my call to somebody who knows what they're doing cause all i'm TRYING To do is order a movie which I missed because you sent me to the internet in the first place" Sure she can help me order one!!! I mean come on! Trained monkeys can do a better job!!
Today yet again I wanted to get a movie--Made of Honor--for only $1.99 so we plug the phone line in because we apparently don't receive very good cust serv. Everything boots up fine, processsing...they oops! apparenlty we've exceeded our limit!!! WHAT???!! COME ON!!!! So my hubby the sweet darling he decided to be today :) vowed to get me my movie. Got customer service and after 20 mins or so comes out shaking his head but got me the movie. Then tells me that the lady was rude and going to charge him a $5 call-in fee for a $1.99 movie!!! OMG here I go again but no, he decides to call the supervisor and make it right. Not only did they NOT charge us $5 but they also credit our acct money, checked on a few channels and pushed our due date on our bill back. That's what i"m talking about!
